Wednesday, April 6, 2011

in flux.

that pretty much describes my life right now.

i'm swamped--eternally busy with a very, very weak light at the end of the proverbial tunnel.

that light was strong.  casting a bright glow throughout the cavernous area--showing me that the end was in sight.

now that light has dimmed significantly as my schedules get adjusted and everything that once was set is now in disrepair.

the control freak side of me is freaking out.  everything would be so much easier if i could just do it myself.  then i wouldn't have to wait for others to respond to e-mails that are insignificant to them and so drastically important to me.  then i could have the schedule that was promised me and that i really, really need.

but i'm not in control here. 

so i am sad and scared.  and a little angry.

what i thought would be the break that i so desperately need has turned into a new nightmare that occupies what little time i have left over to maintain my own sanity.

turns out i can't handle it.  this semester may just be the end of me.