that's the perfect word to describe this feeling of desolation. i feel empty. overwhelmed, and under. hollow, yet full. lonely, but surrounded.
summer often does this to me. the oppressive heat that so many find freeing--an excuse to skip a day's work to allow the sun to drench their bodies to the core--leaves me feeling like an empty, broken shell.
many find sadness in the dead of winter, when there is no green in sight, no lush landscape full of adventure if someone, anyone, would just seek it out. i'm the opposite. winter is my friend; summer, my nemesis.
summer and its burning rays leave me wasted, suffocating while breathing stifling air. my lungs burn at the heat of it all. i am alone in a crowd of people, all of them enjoying the warm breeze as it brushes past ever so lightly. all of them, but me.
i long for the days when the cool breeze returns, sending the slightest chill down my spine, causing me to reach for a light sweater.
until then, i remain empty.